Discussion on Gender and Sexuality
This Sunday, Hollaback! Chandigarh and Cafe Kaffee Kuchh are organizing an open discussion on gender and sexuality. We hope to address issues concerning the LGBTQ community in the city. What is it like to be openly gay in the city? Are transgenders accepted or still ridiculed and feared? Is it time we started talking about gender issues openly?
We’d love for everyone to be a part of this. Do join us at Lajpat Rai Bhavan, Sector 15, Chandigarh (on Madhya Marg) at 6.30 PM.
The Blurry Lines of Street Harassment
By D. Kumar
Is giving someone a genuine compliment actually harassment?
A friend and I were walking in the sector 35 market yesterday. This random guy commented “nice outfit” to my friend as we walked past him. My immediate reaction was to get angry but I just walked away with her.
That night, in one of my usual rants, i mentioned this incident to a friend of mine. He made a very obvious observation. Two days ago I went to see a movie with him and I happened to really like this girl’s dress. I went up to her and told her I really liked her dress. She said thanks and I walked away.
He asked me what the difference was in my comments and that man’s comments that created so much anger? I went quiet for a while and questioned my anger. Was it truly directed to that one man or was it just a manifestation of all the random comments/following/touching/groping that I’ve faced over the years?
Maybe what that man said wasn’t harassment. His intention probably wasn’t to make me feel uncomfortable or disrespected. Is it fair that a man can’t give a woman an honest compliment lest she lash out and cry ‘harasser’?
Street harassment encompasses a variety of things like groping, stalking, public masturbation, catcalling, staring, commenting, leching, etc. Anyone who feels that street harassment is just an overreaction on the part of women has clearly not been reading the newspapers. Just because some things may or may not be harassment considering the circumstances of the situation, doesn’t take away from the fact that we can’t ignore this issue. Blurry lines will almost always exist but we need to focus on the root of the problem here instead of arguing over the technicalities.
Hitesh’s Story: “I did something and I hope someone else will do the same when my sister faces harassment”
Hi,
I was in Sector 11, Panchkula for some work today and I saw this young girl (must be around 15/16) being followed by two young boys (around 18/19). I don’t know what she was doing but she seemed to be really bothered with those boys. They were following her and making stupid noises and comments and when she would look back, they would pretend as if they were talking to someone else. I went up to those boys and asked them if they had any problem and why were they following that girl. They got nervous and said Bhaiyya we weren’t doing anything and they turned around and went the other way.
I get really troubled when I see such things happening all the time. I did something and I hope someone else will do the same when my sister faces harassment. I don’t have a real sister but my cousin is 12 right now and I’m very scared about what will happen when she grows up. Her parents are already paranoid about her going out alone but I don’t feel that is the solution. How will things change if we just make girls stay inside? How will she ever be able to study or work? I think it’s really pathetic that men don’t know how to respect women anymore. We need to do something.
Does wearing shorts invite harassment? – A student of GCG shares her story
I stay in a PG in Sector 10 and study in GCG. Recently, when i was walking back after classes this group of boys started following me in their car. I don’t usually react to such things. It happens so many times I’ve stopped reacting now. But this time they made really lewd comments which I can’t even mention right now. They eventually went away on their own but I was really annoyed.
I came home and told my roommate about it and she said I should stop wearing shorts to college. That it attracts wrong crowd. For a moment I felt really guilty but I’m just tired of this. I like wearing shorts. They’re comfortable and so in for summers. And I’ve been eve teased even when I’m wearing suits. I was really confused and then a friend told me about this site. I know it’s not my fault but there are times I just can’t help feeling guilty about it. My friend says it’s just common sense to wear dress according to where I’m going. I’m just confused.
Have a Happy and Harassment Free HOLI!
So Chandigarh’s all set to celebrate the festival of colours – HOLI! I remember when I was a child, Holi was one of my favourite festivals of all time. I would wake up early, get my colours and pichkaris ready, fill up baloons with water and make sure I hit my brother with them before he could wake up.
But as I grew up, the excitement and happiness associated with Holi just went away. People started using mud and eggs instead of colour and water. Incidents of groping and molestation plagued the festival. I choose to stay at home for most of that day now and I know a lot of my friends choose to do the same. A young friend shared her story with me the other day about how she stopped leaving her home on Holi after she had some boys throw eggs at her sister and her. She was on her two-wheeler and she lost her balance. Thankfully, neither of them suffered any serious injuries.
We’re seeing a lot of campaigns this year advocating a safe and harassment free Holi. One Voice have released an excellent short film to raise awareness. Others like Lets Talk and CSR are also doing amazing work. We hope all these efforts are successful and everyone has a safe and happy Holi!
Pre-Valentine’s Day Awareness Drive – Bolti Bandh Campaign
Valentine’s day is celebrated with a lot of fervor in the City Beautiful. Many youth gather in Panjab University and the Gehri Route to enjoy this day. I think ours is the only city to celebrate this event in such a unique manner. This is the only day of the year we get to see countless heart shaped balloons on our streets.
Despite all the fun involved, this day also sees a significant increase in street harassment around the city. Following women in cars or bikes, shouting comments, singing songs, etc. have become typical of Valentine’s Day here.
Hollaback! Chandigarh in collaboration with Rotaract Club of Soaring Monks, Chandigarh decided to organize a pre-Valentine’s Day Anti-street harassment awareness drive in Sector 17. We gathered in the Plaza around 4 PM and distributed pamphlets about street harassment and some possible solutions for the same.
The event was quite a success and we received a lot of positive feedback from the public. We hope everyone had a safe and enjoyable Valentine’s Day.
Martin Luther King, Jr. Six Steps of Nonviolent Social Change
Cross posted from www.ihollaback.org Originally published on January 16,2012
By Victoria Travers
Today we take a moment to commemorate, salute and remember legendary figure of liberty and nonviolent change, Martin Luther King, Jr. All over the world King is hailed as one of civilization’s most significant figures of freedom, justice and equality. Until his death on April 4 1968, King was committed to the fundamental change of America via non-violent activism. Among many of his achievements, in 1964 Martin Luther King, Jr. was the youngest person ever to win the Nobel Peace Prize. During his acceptance speech in Oslo he made one of the most powerful and repeated remarks in History:
“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right temporarily defeated is stronger than evil triumphant.”
King’s focus on inspiring nonviolent activism to attain positive social change has inspired millions all over the globe. And we at Hollaback! are particularly inspired by Dr. King’s awesome legacy. King realized that racism, among other contentious issues, in America could not be altered “without radical changes in the structure of our society.” And we at Hollaback! know Street Harassment can only be eradicated with the alteration of deep-rooted social values and norms.
So we look to Dr. King’s Philosophy to strive for social change on the topic of Street Harassment. Dr. King developed this sequential process of peaceful conflict-resolution:
1. Information Gathering – The way you determine the facts, the option for change, and the timing of pressure for raising the issue is a collective process.
2. Education – The process for developing articulate leaders, who are knowledgeable about the issues. It is directed toward the community through all forms of media about the real issues and human consequences of an unjust situation.
3. Personal Commitment – Means looking at your internal and external involvement in the nonviolent campaign and preparing yourself for long-term as well as short-term action.
4. Negotiation – Is the art of bringing together your views and those of your opponent to arrive at a just conclusion or clarify the unresolved issues, at which point, the conflict is formalized.
5. Direct Action – Occurs when negotiations have broken down or failed to produce a just response to the contested issues and conditions.
6. Reconciliation – Is the mandatory closing step of a campaign, when the opponents and proponents celebrate the victory and provide joint leadership to implement change.
Be inspired. Join the revolution.
Disha’s Story: “They could have done anything to me and no one would have known”
I was walking home from the market in sector 18 and few men began to follow me. It was a foggy day and I had my face covered with a muffler. They kept making comments like ‘daaku haseena’ and terrorist and stuff. They were in a car and they drove off after another car started honking behind them. I didn’t even know how to react. I was feeling so dumb and I just wanted to get home. I thought if I would have said something they could have done anything to me and no one would have known. These things happen so often I don’t even know what to do.
